Phallic? Who said "phallic"?
Come to play: stay to pray!™

"Bizarre, but kind of wonderful" - TTworld

"I wish you'd stop wasting your time on that websitethingy and get married" - Saint Mark's mother.

The wholly-holy Church of Transport Tycoon

Welcome to one of the few remaining Transport Tycoon sites created in the old days when everyone played Transport Tycoon under DOS - even before it was "Deluxe"!

It just goes to show that patience, even without talent, can lead to glory... Which sort of explains Adam Sandler's career...

And in the potting shed (down the path and around the corner from the church)

Use TTD PATCH to get Transport Tycoon to run under Windows
(damn! the link still works in 2015! - and 2023!)

Welcome. I hope you enjoy your stay.
If you don't enjoy it, don't tell anyone...

Saint Mark

Send your blessings and 10% of your income to

email St Mark

Transport Tycoon Sound Effects

Download the complete Transport Tycoon Sound Effects wav files by clicking here (ZIP, 815K).

Or, for fun, you can listen to them all.


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Welcome to the profoundly holy Church of Transport Tycoon, my brethren. Please proceed quietly: the monks are nearing December 2050 and must not be disturbed in their sacred prayers.

The sometimes holy Church of Transport Tycoon is devoted to The Game (not to be confused with lesser transport games produced by mere humans) handed down to us weak mortals one decade two decades ago in 1995 by Lord Chris Sawyer (blessed be Thy Game).

It is the quest of the quite holy Church of Transport Tycoon to spread the Good Word, and to help disciples of The Game master its mysterious and arcane se crets (known only to the wise and rather clever Elders) so they can be elevated to the heights of Mogul or indeed Tycoon of the Century.

This site has been blessed by Lord Chris himself before he became ineffable and disappeared from our midst as we continue to pray for a sequel. Alas, I don't feel Transportation is it. Open TTD is more like it.

Go gently, read the Good Word hereunder transcribed, and don't make fun of the Artificial Intelligence.

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Church of Transport Tycoon sign

Let us pray

Lord Chris

Our Chris, who art near Chipping Sodbury Hallowed be thy Game
Thy kingdom come
Thy scenarios be done
In Toyland as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily sim
And forgive us our Kamikaze locomotives
As we mercilessly destroy anyone building stations near our industries
For thine is the simdom
The power and the glory
For ever and ever (unless there's no sequel quite soon)

Lord Chris is unreachable, His name is ineffable (except I just effed it - sorry) and He resides (in 2016 at least) at

Transport Tycoon: the next generation

Various stirrings are being felt in the transport community. Many clever people are doing their best to help us Tycoonophiles endure the lack of a sequel or upgrade.

Here are these clever people:

The most stupid Transport Tycoon Artificial Intelligence
As much as we admire Chris Sawyer, and are amazed at the skilled programming that went into Transport Tycoon, we cannot help but be amazed at the performance of the "artifical intelligence" players pitted against us by the game. We have all seen the amazingly dumb things the computerised players have done to get from point A to point B. Once I saw one of my competitors build this work of art.

Click the picture to go to the Stupid AI page

Millipede train crash
Spotted in 2013
Some incentive to keep your rail signals accurate...

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The Church of Transport Tycoon is no longer accepting acolytes!

Even if you think your site is worthy of admission to the Church of Transport Tycoon's clergy, you can no longer contact our cathedral and tell us where your parish lies so it may be visited and blessed by Saint Mark. Until recently, if it pleased Saint Mark you may have been awarded a sinecure and a handsome relic such as this...

unsolicited testimonial from a convert


I was a poor unloved Tycoon tyro. People shunned me because of my nerdiness, body odour and total lack of sexual allure. Children bit me and dogs laughed at me. Then I wrote to Saint Mark, he visited my site in a dream and awarded me the rare and beautiful Site Benediction Award. Now I am adored by 45 inch women and 12 inch men. People shade their eyes when I enter the room. Thank you Saint Mark. Now I am a Priest of the Church of Transport Tycoon I have unlimited sex, better game play and the promise of eternal life."
Signed, your devoted apostle.*

solicited testimony from a pervert


Well, your honour. I was just wandering innocently past the convent's showers when I fell up a ladder and got my eye stuck to a window... well, this Vicar Sergeant from the Church of Transport Tycoon caught me by the camera strap and there we are...

Exhibit A

See the half-megabyte colour version!

Click the New Tycoon Bible below to read the words of Lord Chris

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* This is a complete lie.

The pews of this church were last swept: Tuesday October 24, 2023 12:56 PM