Take a raging endocrine system. Add poor English skills and little experience of the world. Combine this with an ego that is big enough to kill a grown ox. Gently lay on top a passionate desire for introspection.
You have a timebomb, folks. It's called Teenage Poetry.
Boys are never forever |
|
| You're heart is not a plaything, | Learn to spell! |
| You're heart is not a toy, | Learn to spell! |
| And if you want it broken. | |
| Jus' give it to a boy | |
| He'll say that he loves you dearly | A truly unique observation, never before made in the history of humankind.This poem deserves to live forever and be a lesson to all who follow. |
| And that he'll always be true... | |
| But when he finds another girl | |
| He'll say good-bye to you... | I'd say the boy read her poetry and was fully entitled to get away ASAP. |
| Written by: Roxy. |
Thanks, Roxy! |
Drone |
This example from Gothic "The Scarred Angel" shows a few salient features for you. |
| I
am a pawn, a usless being
Controlled by simpletons of greater power No will have i,broken and beaten A slug to follow the masters trail Watch me as i grovel at your feet
An empty shell, i am nothing
Forgotten. |
Firstly, it exemplifies the classic teenage nihilist-suicide style that consumes so much rhyming time among the hormonally charged members of the community. Its bleak Orwellian-Oedipal distress is particularly cheering to the rest of us. Secondly, the typical antispelling is apparent. "usless", "masters trail", "spinless", "wishs", "idea's" (and for pedants, you can also add "till" which should be "until" or 'til) I suppose the power of the emotions overcame his power to spell and punctuate. |
Vampire |
One wonders why some poems are ever written at all. Of course poetry was the best way to discuss the topic of vampires. |
| Crosses of gold, | |
| And those of stone, | |
| Do not effect the world I roam. | Affect is a verb. Effect is a noun (except "to effect change") |
| Those only of blood and flesh and life, | |
| Are the ones that cause me strife. | Strife? STRIFE? |
| To see the sun my life is done, | |
| A wooden stake my life shall take. | Beautifully turned phrase. Hardly awkward at all. |
| I am immortal, yet I can die, | |
| By the mortal hands belonging to thy. | Don't you love people who can't control their native tongue but insist on misusing archaic expressions as well? "Thy" means "your", not "you". Try "thee" if you must maintain the prententious tone. |
| Where he stands in all the lands a gleam | |
| within His eye, | |
| A wooden stake my life shall take, | |
| And then no longer am I. | Exactly what was this poem meant to achieve, I wonder. |
Cassie |
Poor Cassie. I bet she didn't deserve this.. |
| Cry not till now, | Cry not till now"? i.e. "Start crying now"? You might, if you suspect what the rest of this poem is going to be like. |
| Upon these words, | |
| These words that make hearts swell, | Swell, and burst. |
| But rather hear them as they are, | |
| Maybe written well. | Maybe not... No. Definitely not. |
| Listen close, | 'Closely'? It's an adverb, after all. Has this poet ever heard of an adverb? Do adverbs bite people on the neck and fear not the truth? |
| Miss not a word, | |
| And keep their meanings true, | Huh? |
| Fear not the truth, | Whose truth - yours? The Vampire King? |
| For that they are, | "they"? The "words" from line 2 or the "truth" from above? |
| But hold it dear to you. | |
| So listen now, | |
| Without a tear, | Oh, deary me. |
| To this story true, | The sentence constructions are appalling! |
| For looking back, | |
| To you I swear, | Does this author know any punctuation apart from the comma? |
| To me this is you. | What does this mean? |
| Looking back upon this year, | |
| This last year in my life, | |
| I see not how my heart could hold, | |
| Without your guiding light. | |
| Looking towards your face to see, | |
| How you pulled me through, | |
| I see the smile, | |
| That all the while, | |
| Made me think things through. | |
| Within this year, | |
| I have seen your life within your eyes. | ? |
| Never dark nor cold, | |
| Their light doth hold | 'Doth'? O not again! |
| The only golden prize, | |
| And if you cried, | |
| I wondered why | |
| Fate holdeth you so. | 'Holdeth'? Anyway, what is he going on about? |
| For your kindly heart | |
| And loving mind, | |
| Are here to hold us all, | |
| Throughout this year, | |
| Without a breath, | |
|
Standing here in awe. |
Makes one pine for good old vampire poems! |