Worst Verse
Bad Emotional Poetry

[INDEX | Teenage | Granny | Christian | Weird | Emotional]

Yeah, I know.  They don't mean to do harm.  It's just that their emotions get hard to control and they write poetry. 

Don't get me wrong: there's nothing wrong with that.  Even been known to do it myself. 

The key difference is:  I didn't publish it on the bloody internet for the world to accidentally step in!


5 Sept 06- New! Finally, a site update - and a juicy one it is too!

This is the poem Bec Cartwright read out at the reception of her wedding to tennis star Lleyton Hewitt.

It combines several key warning signs: they're Australian, they're sports stars, and they're in the throes of twue wuv

Prepare your sickbags, folks: this is going to be particularly nasty!

I have added a line-by-line syllable count so forensic poets can determine the cause of this poem's death.

Long live love, we says. I really don't know where to start,

13 "we says"?  Bec, dear.  It's better if you don't start at all.
but I definitely know you've captured my heart, 12  
It started that night you called me up, 9  
to see if I'd play in the Starlight Cup 10 Is this a poem or a diary?
Way back then, little did we know, 8  
That our love for one another could grow and grow, 12 Ya gotta admit - IT RHYMES so it must be a poem!
A text message or two is what kept us in touch 12 Sorry - what's this got to do with anything?
And I want you to know that I love you so much 12  
It wasn't 'til late in 2004 11  
That I received another phone call 9 A half rhyme - she must be getting tired.
When we decided to meet, 7  
we went up the street for something to eat, 10 It gets better, folks!
From that day on I've been by your side 9  
And look at me now, 5  
I am here as your bride! 6 Collapse of the beautiful and sophisticated rhyming pattern.
I used to wish upon a star 8  
that I'd meet the perfect husband 8  
- and here you are! 4  
You're an inspiration to so many including me, 14  
Anyone whose ever met you can count themselves lucky, 14 Yup - the number of syllables per line is purely random.
I'm so lucky I've found the one, 8  
Being with you I have nothing but fun, 10  
You are my best friend and my dream come true 10  
And I'm so glad to be sharing all this with you 12  
This is only the start of our dream together, 12  
But I promise to love you until forever 12  
A poetically long time, to be sure! 10 Can you imagine a lifetime of a marriage that's as good as this poem?
I can't wait to start my life with you, 9  
Just being together, our dreams will come true 11  
I have no doubt I'm glad to be your wife, 10  
And being with me is now a part of your life 12 Lucky fellow...
I admire you for so many reasons, 11  
I mean look at what happened at the Four Seasons! 12 Huh?
We're about to experience the miracle of life, 14  
but always remember I'm so proud to be your wife, 13  
Having a family with you makes me so glad, 12 Glad?  Control that explosive emotion, girl!
I know I'll never get sad, 7 Two key factors that contribute to this poem's immortal grandeur are Bec's vast vocabulary and her capacity for perspicacious introspection.
Thanks so much for choosing me, 7  
By sticking together we'll make a great family 13 Pronounced "fam-i-leeeeee"
Engaged and then married and now one on the way, 12  
I'll take such good care of you every day, 10 See?  That rhyme hardly hurt at all
It's safe to say I'll love you more and more 10  

And marrying you today, I couldn't be more sure.

Rebecca Hewitt! I'm your wife! 9  
I promise you one thing, stick with me and you'll have a bloody good life! 17  


Daddy God!
As the years fade on our tears fall with unconditional love, for we know you wont be here forever. Apostrophe?
Our dreams grow closer to our hearts as we cherish every sweet memory from this world.  
Our hearts grow warmer with you around, who could ever take your place?  
Our security us held within your hands, yet you never close them, always watching out for us.  
The warmest hugs on terrible days are life savers.  
Daddy....when you reach for the stars can you spell out our names??so we can be sure were always remembered?  
I know memories fade but the stars will always shine bright upon us, sparkeling our names. "sparkeling"?
We love you daddy, nothing will change that...I know you'll always guide me to the perfect lands  
and shine in my heart forever and always...  
I Love You Daddy... Pass the bucket!


Post script
This is by the same author, on his/her home page: note the masterful spelling, grammar and depth of thought typical of great poets.  As poems go, it's actually one of the author's better tries.

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