This is the
from "The Mysterious Punch-Up-The-Conker" Script ... Now GET OUT!
(Thinks: I wonder what a manifesto is)
Incorporating the political wing:
All secret military correspondence should be wrapped in a mini American flag, sealed in a sock, steamed in a leather omnibus until the chicken is tender and then quietly emailed to this top secret location:
As Bloodnok would say:
Min and Crun's Elephants
And just because I'm I giddy, big-bottomed fun-loving girl deep down...
Many other ragged Goon noises are available from http://bloodnok.net/
This is not the BBC Home Service.
Dateline: March 10, 2001. Posted to alt.fan.goons
What am I doing here? Before I got online I used to party, talk to friends, write letters.
No I didn't. I used to make clever Goonshow remarks to the cat, who failed to understand them.
Being a Goon fan is a bit like being a trainspotter: no-one at work understands a Lurgi quip, let alone a desperate "yuckabuckoo" during a stressful meeting.
It's nice to feel at home with fellow fetishists who know the value of a good ploogie when it's needed. Above all, it's a delight to be amongst usenet posters who can actually spell!
I can't even say "I don't wish to know that"
at work without lengthy explanations.
Perhaps we need a Goon Liberation movement so "straights" could learn to understand our special needs (e.g. when your boss tells you off, it should not be an offence to answer "My aunt owns a duck farm in Kent!")
I shall immediately begin the Goon Liberation movement to spread the good goon word.
I expect to have at least one MP in every parliament who can cry "I resign" whenever he's noticed.
My Provisional Goon Liberation Army shall launch batter puddings at BBC studios everywhere.
New anti-goon discrimination laws shall be passed so it will illegal to act against people who say "Footo - the wonder boot exploder" to every question asked of them during staff meetings.
We shall be free to advertise Dolly Mixture on websites and call for the screens during embarrassing public moments. We shall outlaw parrot sketch recitations and mandate Min and Henry exchanges in their stead.
WE SHALL PREVAIL!
My new political party shall wipe the nongoon parties from the political map. We shall invade countries with turnips upon our noses for NO REASON WHATSOEVER and install telephones fearlessly in Africa.
We shall savagely ask citizens what the time is, and beat them savagely if they do not correctly recite the "I've got it written on a piece of paper" mantra.
I shall advise you all where to collect your turnips.
We shall NEVER surrender, until it's no longer funny.
The Goon Show Liberation Army Recruits
|Gunner-General Honorary-Sir Spike
Milligna, the well-known typing error
learns something after a phone call (MP3)
Poor old Spike walked backwards for the last time today - Wednesday February 27, 2002.
He's not dead: he's just fallen in the water. (MP3, 33K)
Thanks for making my sense of humour a non-custodial offence, Spike.
If I couldn't have blamed Spike for leading me astray mentally, I would have been considered psychotic from the age of six.
The Rather Later Sir Hairy
Secombe, Prince of Whales
11 April 2001: What what what
what what what what? Alas, now Sir Harry Hairy (Ned of Wales) Seagoon
Secombe is now a little later than he was.
As Dennis Norden said: "He was blessed with a spirit that is so rare, and getting rarer."
from Harry Secombe, who are you? (MP3) -
The Very Late Nearly-Sir Peter Sellers
Born Richard Henry Sellers on 8 September 1925 in Southsea (Hampshire,UK), Peter Sellers, the oral chameleon died at the age of 54 on 24 July 1980 - only a few months before the shooting of John Lennon on 8 December.
The two events are not believed to be connected.
While Peter was said to be able to imitate any human - except himself
- he went on to Hollywood features and even
bigger automobiles, but
his dicky heart always stayed with the brandy-soaked, halcyon days
of the Goon Show.
well-armed Saint Sabrina - they just have to be rocket launchers
under that jumper!
Well, if she can raise your spirits
like she raises those... well...
Hear Ned of Wales explain why he, as Strolling Prime Minister, was late. (MP3)
Click Sabrina to visit her living shrine at nylon.net/sabrina - thousands of pix online!
A spooky event (19 October 2002) - searching for "Norma Sykes" brought up a Goon Show book - and not in the way you'd expect. It found Norma Farnes (Spike's agent) and Eric Sykes (occasional script contributor) on the same page advertising Norma's book "The Goons: The Story". Perhaps Norma and Eric were Sabrina's secret loveparents?
Charles, Nerd of Wales
A ragged goonish prince, with leeks on his knees and a truly delightful intelligent individuality that no royal protocol can ever completely crush.
Ray Ellington and his Quartet
(94K - MP3 - from 'The Mountain Eaters')
who hated people putting jelly up his vest (203K, MP3)
was often found with his organ in his mouth, blowing
Max Geldray died October 2, 2004. Max Geldray, Europe's first jazz harmonica player, was born in 1916 in Amsterdam. In 1950 he teamed up with little known comedians, Sellers, Secombe, Milligan and Bentine for a radio show which became the popular 1950's "The Goon Show" and Max Geldray became a household name, and a source of comfort to thousands of frustrated housewives.
|Wally Stott (Angela Morley) - January 23 2009 - has died aged 84. A leading light musician, composer, arranger and conductor, in addition to creating many radio, television and film scores. Most associated with the BBC radio comedy classics Hancock's Half Hour and the Goon Show, he/she went on to work on a number of Hollywood films and US television shows including Dallas and Dynasty. A transsexual woman, previously known as Wally Stott, she underwent a sex change in 1972. Just after the war, he had met Peter Sellers, then "in an RAF uniform with a snare drum under his arm", as he later recalled. Stott later conducted the BBC Dance Orchestra for the musical background in the third series of the Goon Show (1952), continuing in this role. He had filled in for one episode of the previous series, then still labouring under the BBC-imposed subtitle Those Crazy People. Reflecting the comedic content, his arrangements for the show had a jazz flavour, rather than the standard comedy-show music of that time. Stott retained positive memories of Sellers, telling Ed Sikov, author of Mr Strangelove (2002), a biography of the actor: "I hate to believe that there was any harm in Peter. He was a very likeable person." When Hancock's Half Hour began its radio run in 1954, Stott composed the theme tune, in which the opening notes on the tuba were intended to represent Tony Hancock's persona. The association continued with pre-recorded, incidental music for the series, and in its even more successful television version, from 1956 to 1961.Although Stott had been married and had children, he had, in the words of Max Geldray, the harmonica player who featured in the Goon Show, "a lifelong mental struggle with gender identity, a fact that, for all those years, he had kept sealed tightly inside himself". It was only after his first wife died and he met his second wife, Christine Parker, whom he married in 1970, that he was able to confront, and resolve, his identity crisis. Two years after the marriage, Stott underwent what was then termed a sex-rectifying operation. He became Angela Morley, taking his mother's maiden name, and continued to work for BBC radio, arranging versions of standards for Radio 2. Earlier that year she had turned down the chance to be part of the Last Goon Show of All because she had not yet gone public about her sex change. After Stott had become Morley, Geldray recalled, "it didn't take me very long to find out that, in all the ways that mattered, the person I found now was still the person I had known". Geldray summed up Angela and Christine's tale as "an extraordinary story of two people's love and devotion... which has gone far beyond the barriers of what most of us have faced in our lives". Angela Morley, formerly Wally (Walter) Stott, composer, arranger and conductor, born 10 March 1924; died 14 January 2009||
And the combined farces of alt.fan.goons
who will, with the naked power of combined leather cucumbers, and rippling kippers on the end of forks, battle the mindless anti-goon prejudice of the Rest Of The World.
The manifesto of the GSLA is being drafted with the assistance of a turtle-powered mango interfaced with a brown-paper fern, which could explain why it's not going too well. I hope all Goon-related armed forces secreted around the world (and Hern Land) can contribute to this vital document. I really wish they'd stop secreting. It's getting all over my duck.
All correspondence should be directed to
a) Find out what became of the crispy bacon we had before the war.
b) Instigate a royal commission into why we can't get the wood, you know.
c) Establish a safety zone around Major Bloodnok's trousers after curry time.
d) Install nurses at strategic locations with screens.
e) Restrict the sale of filter-tipped gorillas and baboons to children.
f) Erect a bust of Sabrina for local Members have something to stand for.
Magenta, Chief Minister for proper deployment
of Screens adds:
1/ Compulsory vaccination for lurgi shall be introduced immediately.
2/ All clocks will be banned, who needs them when we have all these pieces of paper lying about?
3/ Everyone will be obliged to think of Aardvaarks.
4/ Measures will be introduced to prevent discrimination against sufferers of Ducks Disease.
An amendment offered by that ancient toothless idiot, Henry Crun:
As any fule kno, the only cure for the dreaded lurgi is to play a brass band instrument. Therefore, I would suggest that Item 1 be amended to include the following; " Alternatively, any euphonium player who is suitably qualified may perform an emergency trombonectomy, thus stopping the spread of the dreaded Lurgi".
Yours insincerely, Henry ... mnk ... Crun
When The New World Order comes about --
1. Free and plentiful supply of wood to all
Oh! and a healthy supply of bribe givers to
This very important qualification was
posted by Martin:
I think there's a lesson there for all of us.
Be afraid - be VERY afraid of fog chickens!
A comment, typically supportive of the GSLA campaign, from TC at alt.fan.goons:
Of this page it has been vehemently said:
I like the pretty drawings :-)
Time for another owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
And it came to pass that Bruce Laing posted:
Hello folks at world (and in that order)
With the recent formation (and fivemation) of the "Goon Show Liberation Army". I had a thought. The GSLA may need an anthem.
I'm doing this off my own bat. To make things easier, I will leave it up to everyone here on this newsgroup to make a suggestion on what should be used.
I have a few ideas, but you may have something better.
1) the last 30 seconds of "The Ying Tong
Very dishonourable member of Smithfield and Finchley areas, and idiot sounds extroadinary to the house of Frutt.
Goonführer Bruce, GSLA's musical director and bare-teeth combat instructor reports:
Editor's Note: "unanimous" is being used in the informal sense of "55.26%" rather than the usual "100%"... This is a cunning strategy, originally used by Montgomery during the noisy Second World War
Anti-Personnel Batter Pudding Recipe (for the hurling of)
3 eggs, lightly beaten by a policeman
Mix baking powder, flour, sugar, lemon rind and eggs together. Add slowly the water and lemon juice. Turn into a buttered baking dish. Bake in moderate oven for about 30 minutes. Hurl at victim while still warm.
From ABC Web site (2 June 2004):
This site is brought to you by FOOTO - The Wonder Boot Exploder
Due to circumcisions beyond