n
the Beginning Was the Word, and the word was Chris. And the Lord, Chris,
looked upon the world of Sim and thought it was pretty shabby overall.
2. And the Lord
Chris spake words to Microprose. Saith he: "I've got this rather
cool idea for a game," and verily, Microprose saith unto the Lord Chris,
"Thou shouldst go for it, chumblybum."
3. And the Lord
Chris dusted off His holy Compiler and the sacred Editor of Code.
4. And on the
first day He created the seas. And made them sparkly.
5. And on the
second day He created the land, with bumpy bits.
6. And on the
third day He created the sounds, and thought they were pretty groovy.
7. And on the
fourth day He went out to the pub because He wasn't seeing any action.
8. And on the
fifth day He had a terrific hangover, but still managed to code the
computer's Artificial Intelligence. And He looked at the AI algorithms
and thought, "These are pretty crappy" but His headache was so bad He
left them as they were.
9. And on the
sixth day He made the trains that runneth over the tracks and the buses
that go beep and the flying machines that crasheth into the ground.
And He saw they were truly keen.
10. And on the
seventh day He rested. In bed. With a friend.
11. And on the
ninth day (He said we should not talk about the eighth day. He'd
rather forget it ever happened) He said, "Let there be no helicopters
after 1990 or so because they are offensive to the Lord" and the people
did wonder, and make snide remarks about their useless heliports.
12. And on the
tenth day He debugged.
13. And on the
eleventh day He beta-tested and saw that it was good.
14. And He gave
the Game of Chris to his people and said: "Take. Play.
And don't make fun of the AI".
15. And his people
did play with the Game of Chris and stayed up really late playing the
Game and later on creating web pages about the Holy Game of Chris.
16. And years
did pass. After the Deluxe Game was handed down, their Lord did
not appear to his people. And his people were sorely tried.
They cried out to the Lord: "Why have you forsaken us, Father?
We follow the words of Chris, our Lord. When are you going to
release TT3, you Bastard?"
17. And Chris,
the Lord, said unto His people: "O ye of little faith. I am thinking
about a followup maybe in a year or so" and His people were joyous and
did play the Game once more.
18. And Chris
the Lord said to his people: "Pray to me at tt@chrissawyer.com
and His people were much happier then.
18b. But then Lord Chris
mysterious vanished again and his way-holy website was without
his spirit. The faithful lamented and rent their clothes with
grief. The chrissawyer.com system administrator issued edicts
unto the flock saying, "Don't email this address. I can't send
mail to Lord Chris." And the flock was dejected.
19. Anyway, upon
the day of 29/04/98, Mark did
pray unto the Way Holy Lord Chris. He said:
Dear Lord,
You may or may not be pleased to learn that there is
now a Church of Transport Tycoon with a neat
accompanying bible.
Your holiness may visit and make me a saint. Whatever.
BTW: really love the game. Really hate the AI!
20.
Lo!
The earth did tremble as the hand of the Lord did move upon the
keys of his keyboard. He replied thus:
Subject: Re: The Church of Transport Tycoon
Date: Thu, 30 Apr 1998 15:28:28 EDT
From: tt@chrissawyer.com
To: me@myself.com
Dear Saint Mark,