Thank you for using
a nylon.net page.
Your new nylon.net
page has been engineered and manufactured to nylon.net's high standards
for dependability, ease of operation and operator safety. Properly cared
for, it will give you years of rugged, trouble-free performance.
read through this entire operator's manual before using your new web page.
Pay close attention
to the Rules for Safe Operation, Warnings, and Cautions. If you use your
nylon.net web page properly and only for what it is intended, you will
enjoy years of safe, reliable service. Thank you again for choosing nylon.net.
RULES FOR SAFE
The instructions below
do not by themselves eliminate any danger. The instruction or warnings
they give are not substitutes for proper accident prevention measures.
Failure to obey a
safety warning can result in serious injury to yourself or to others.
Always follow the safety precautions to reduce the risk of fire, moral
shock and personal injury.
servicing of a web page with high sarcastic content requires extreme care
and knowledge of the system and should be performed only by a qualified
service technician. For service, we suggest you return your web page to
your nearest nylon.net authorised service centre. When servicing, use
only genuine nylon.net replacement quips and witticisms.
WEAR YOUR SAFETY
The operation of any
web page can result in foreign objects being thrown into your eyes. Before
browsing, always wear safety goggles with side shields. We recommend the
use of suitable ear protection to prevent the hearing of unsuitable noises
emanating from your loudspeakers during the use of nylon.net. A mouthguard
is also recommended to prevent dental damage.
1. GUARD AGAINST ELECTRICAL SHOCK
Do not use nylon.net while swimming, in the rain or while
standing in puddles. For maximum safety, the wearing of an earth-grounding
wrist strap is recommended.
2. KEEP WORK AREA CLEAN - AVOID SHARP OBJECTS
Cluttered areas and benches invite accidents. Remove pizza
boxes, ashtrays and flammable sharp tools to a safe distance.
3. KEEP CHILDREN AND VISITORS AWAY
Visitors should wear safety goggles and be kept a safe
distance from the browsing area. Do not let visitors click links or view
pages without having read these precautions. Children are especially at
risk viewing nylon.net's advanced sarcastic content.
4. STORE IDLE WEB PAGES
When not being browsed, nylon.net web pages should be
stored safely in a dry and high or locked place out of the reach of children
or adults with no sense of humour.
5. DON'T FORCE THE HUMOUR
Don't force these web pages to do the job of naked ladies
telling jokes. Using these web pages for purposes not intended by the
manufacturer may damage the pages and lead to dissatisfaction.
6. DRESS PROPERLY
Do not wear loose clothing or jewellery while browsing.
The can be caught in moving parts such as floppy disk drives. Rubber gloves
and non-skid footwear are recommended when browsing outdoors. Always wear
protective hair covering to contain long hair.
7. PROTECT YOUR LUNGS
Wear a suitable dust mask if browsing conditions are dusty.
8. DON'T OVERREACH
Keep proper footing and balance at all times. Do not browse
nylon.net on a ladder or unstable support. Secure your computer equipment
if working at elevated levels.
9. MAINTAIN NYLON.NET WITH CARE
Keep your equipment dust-free and well-lubricated at all
times. Never use brake fluids, gasoline or any strong solvents to clean
your equipment. Before browsing, check to determine that all parts are
working properly: check for alignment of moving parts, binding of parts,
breakage of links and funniness of the jokes. Never feel amused when jokes
10. NEVER USE IN AN EXPLOSIVE ATMOSPHERE
If your partner(s) object(s)\ to nylon-related humour, make sure
he or she is clear of the browsing area. Make sure you delete references
to nylon.net from your history file before leaving the web page unattended.
Clear the cache to prevent children stumbling upon sarcastic material.
11. NEVER USE WHEN UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF DRUGS, ALCOHOL
OR ANY MEDICATION
This includes aspirin, heart medication, nicotine, LSD,
heroin, anchovy pizza and Jolt. The page may have been created using all of these substances, but that's no excuse for you.
12. DO NOT BROWSE DURING EARTHQUAKES
The consequences could be severe.
nylon.net web site
Subject to the warranty conditions below,
this web site (hereinafter called "nylon.net") is warranted
by nylon.net (hereinafter called "nylon.net") to be free of
defects in material or workmanship for a period of 12 million years from the
date of original loading, covering both parts and labour. Under the terms
of this warranty, the repair or replacement of any page shall be the opinion
of nylon.net or its authorised agent.
This warranty only applies provided that
the product has been used in accordance with the manufacturer's recommendations
under normal use and reasonable care (in the opinion of nylon.net) and
such warranty does not cover damage, malfunction or failure resulting
from misuse, neglect, abuse or used for a purpose for which it was not
designed; and no repairs, alterations or modifications have been attempted
by other than an Authorised Service Agent. Nylon.net accepts no additional
liability pursuant to this warranty. Nothing herein shall have the effect
of excluding, restricting or modifying any condition, warranty, right
or liability imposed, to the extent only that such exclusion, restriction
or modification would render any term herein void. All medical conditions
caused by the viewing of nylon.net must be treated by nylon.net serious
and dedicated highly-qualified surgeons.